sabbath ...

A few weeks ago we began discussing “Sabbath” in our lil’ church. And a few weeks ago, I began attempting to practice it. To be honest, I’ve failed pretty miserably in my efforts. I mean… to put it bluntly… I’m bored. Instead of waking up and anticipating some amazing time with the Lord, I cringe at the thought of not getting to “accomplish” what I want and feel productive with my day. I’m uncaptivated. I’m unmotivated. I’m … bored.

So… this concerns me.

Why would God command His people to “keep the Sabbath” and attach a punishment as severe as death if said commandment was broken… if there wasn’t something important about this time.

I mean... what is the Sabbath?

I’m slowly learning that the Sabbath is an opportunity. It’s a time God has set aside to speak to us. To me. He says… just give me one day. Give me one day where we can meet, and I can speak, and you can listen. It’s one day meant to deepen relationship, to create understanding, to breathe peace… it’s an opportunity to rest in His love. And I’m bored.

Classic.

As I reflect on the last year, I realize it’s been one year since I left the ministry as a youth pastor. I moved, married my best friend, and started a new job. With all these new beginnings, there had to be some sad endings. It’s hard to reflect and not feel a sense of loss. I’ve lost the time to teach a handful of my favorite students. I’ve lost the closeness of friends who used to live right around the corner. I’ve lost the opportunities afforded to me while on staff at a church. And… most of all… I’ve lost the feeling of being supported by those who knew my ministry and trusted my leadership.
But… I’ve gained as well. I’ve gained the love of a husband, the opportunity to reunite with old friends, the comfort of a familiar city, and the joy of new beginnings. I’ve gained time… to figure out who the Lord is calling me to be. And … I am grateful.

But Sabbath?

It’s tricky… but I think the Lord is revealing just how shallow my relationship with Him is. If I’m bored… there’s clearly a dis-connect. Hello… the Creator of the Universe is asking to hold an audience with me… and I’m checked out. Thumbs up Rebecca. So… today I am checking back in, committing to discover the beauty that lies in Sabbath, and thankful for a God gracious enough to give me time to figure Him out.

Amazing grace.