showing up.

i am sitting in a very uncertain place in my life right now. things are fairly unstable... the ground is a bit shaky... and the future is more than unknown. yet, isn't it the very essence of our faith that God alone is all we need. i have been wrestling with how to trust God in the midst of the chaos around me. i keep expecting Him to "show up" in this way or in that way... and instead i sense His silence. He is breathing deeply next to me but i cannot see how He is "showing up." so... do i stress? do i panic? do i sin? these are my options. or... i can be reminded that i chose to give my life to a God who is high above me. i have given my life to Him and my ONLY responsibility is to trust in the way He chooses to lead me. He gets to lead... i get to follow. so, as i sit unrested in this very scattered and unsure place, i have no choice but to trust in the God above who is all i need. right? sounds so simple, eh?

as i dialogued with a friend about this season of my journey, he told me about how he longed for God to make Himself known to him. so he prayed one day and asked God to show him the majesty of the skies, and that as he looked up that he'd be blinded by the power of the starlight... and to his amazement, as his gaze turned upward... not a star was in sight.

that's so God. He longs for us to trust in Him alone, to not always depend on signs and wonders or miracles and gifts. but to worship God in the unknown, to trust that He is all we need... to depend on Him as if there was nothing else we could choose to place our trust in. oh, to be in that place with the God who alone deserves such affection. may He captivate my attention for the rest of this day... and may He remind me in His GRACE that He is God... that He is good... that He is faithful... and that He always "shows up."