reckless rest

i am amazed at my constant ability to refuse God's grace. it's as though i am unable to receive it because of my lack of understanding concerning it. this morning, i didn't go to church. i decided to take God up on His commandment of "rest" and i did indeed do just that. and what a perfect day of rest it has been. the irony is that this one day of rest is something God longs for me to experience weekly. this isn't a vacation kind of rest or a holiday sort of rest...it's God's design for necessary rest. and, today, i was able to be obedient in this command. it's as though God speaks softly to me and says, "rebecca, i have 'best possible life' for you, and in order for you to experience it, rest must occur... weekly." and my response is, 'great, God... once a year i will choose to experience this "best possible life" in regards to this parameter you've established." and without fail, when i choose God's best possible life for me... i experience rest. thus, i experience life. perhaps this day of sabbath rest has taught me that maybe God understands things better than i do? perhaps really 'living' meshed with really 'resting' allows for the tension of reality to subside, and the beauty of divinity to rise. i just might begin to recklesssly abandon myself to rest. it might just lead me to life.